I seriously has the worst dream ever. Worse than the dream where I had babies and they died (In my dream). I dreamed that I bullied a girl into suicide. Yes there is a bit more than that like this girl was really mean to me and basically bullied me, but I eventually said something so awful to her she committed suicide. It was just awful.

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Pretty sure I ate like a cow today and I didn't work out. I need to clean my apartment but have no motivation... It needs to get done before tomorrow... I'm supposed to leave at 9:00 in the morning and my atrocious car also needs to be cleaned out by then...

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Holy crap I hurt my shoulder so bad! It hurts to drive, to put on a shirt, to tie my shoes, it's going to kill when I wash my hair. Pretty sure I may have pulled a muscle.

Anyway I am off to the gym to ride the recumbent bike because it was either that or the treadmill and I read the bike will burn more calories. I plan to watch New Girl while ( Read more... )

Today I ate like a pig and then I worked over 1000 calories off. I'm proud of myself (for working off so many calories) but I do wish I hadn't eaten all that I had... Thankfully none of it was junk!

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I feel like a huge fat cow every single day. I am so Unhappy and I feel like my stomach is getting bigger and bigger. I hate pictures bring taken of me, dread family events with those I haven't seen in awhile and am totally unmotivated for EVERYTHING... I need to find some motivation to clean, and do better with my eating, and get out and ( Read more... )

So hungry. Trying not to eat as it's so late at night. Going to drink (another) glass of water and try to watch a movie and sleep. Maybe another Valium will help... (I've been having horrible problems sleeping)

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I hope I'm not alone in this but does it seem that on days when you weigh yourself and lose weight, that you're much happier and optimistic about the day, than on days where you weigh yourself and gain and you feel like crap? (longest sentence ever, I could give Dickens a run for his money!)

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My family thinks I'm bipolar...

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